How we're handling things

We're handling things first and foremost by praying. And by being extremely thankful.

I'm thankful that no matter how much Ed and I love our unborn baby, God loves her more. It gives me a peace I can't even describe to you to know that for all that we want the best for our little girl, God wants it even more than we do, and he's the one in charge, not me. I haven't even met her yet, but he knows her already, better than I ever will, and I trust him with her.

I'm also thankful for our family and friends, who have rallied to support us in ways I couldn't have anticipated - although I should have. Ed and I have some amazing people in our lives.

And frankly, I'm thankful it's not worse. It's a little scary to be in the hospital, and it's a little scary to know that this baby will likely be born before I'm ready, and probably before she's ready. But it's a lot less scary than a lot of things that could be happening right now. It's a lot less scary than having a condition that CAN'T be managed simply by sitting around in the hospital and delivering earlier than I'd planned.

But what about practically speaking? I know a lot of people have wanted to help out in some way, and have offered assistance with meals, errands, visits, entertainment, and other stuff. It means SO much to me and to Ed.

Here's the deal: the hardest part was making a plan for this week since I anticipated going home yesterday and didn't get to, and we had to scramble to get things in order. But we've worked out where everyone will be this week. The boys are each staying with helpful friends who will get them where they need to go, so they are taken care of. (Thanks, friends!) Ed will be at the hospital with me when he can be, but he's also got work and his college classes this week, so it's great that he won't have to worry about where the boys are and getting them taken care of. That also means that although the offers of meals are much appreciated, there won't really be anyone around to eat them this week!

And Monday my mother is flying in from Texas. My sweet mama is riding to our rescue to live in our house and take care of my boys, and to do stuff like household chores, cooking, and grocery shopping until after the baby comes. I'm so glad I have her, and I can't wait to see her. I am a little worried though, that after living with my mom and eating her cooking for a month or so, none of the boys will WANT me to come home from the hospital! Ha ha.

So for now things are squared away, and while I definitely won't say that we don't need any more help, I will say that the biggest help we need right now is just to give us time to process things, get into a routine, and understand if we are a bit lacking in communication. We do need support, and we're grateful for your encouragement, but also Ed and I are limited in the time we can spend together right now since he's busy at work and with his classes, and obviously I'm not at home, so when we are together, we just want to sort of shut out everything else.

As far as visitors go, I'm sure I'll welcome people coming by eventually - I'll be here for weeks, and I'll miss my friends - but for right now I've been a little overwhelmed by all that's happened, and I have a lot to plan for and take care of even though I'm not home. I need some down time and a few days to get organized and get into a routine. Being on hospital bed rest seems like it would mean a lot of idle time to fill, but there is always something going on here, and I feel worn out and tired a lot of the time right now because I'm still trying to adjust to the schedule. And since I'm confined to this one room for the next month or so, having visitors is a lot like having people hang out in my bedroom, so I'd rather be prepared and plan visitors in advance rather than have people drop by randomly (big hugs to the lovely friends who came by the other day to find me half dressed, with my hair in a towel, in the middle of shaving my legs on my bed...I forgive you, and I did enjoy seeing you! LOL).

Honestly, if you know me well you know that I can be a hermit at the best of times, so the idea of having a lot of company can feel a little stressful, and I might need some more alone time than usual for the next few weeks. I just want to put it out there, because I don't want anyone's feelings to be hurt if I end up limiting my socializing to a couple of days a week.

In summary, thanks so much to all the people who have been so kind and thoughtful already. When we have needed help so far, it's been amazing to have so many people pick up the slack. When we know what we need in the future, we will certainly keep you all posted. Please don't be upset if you want to help, and it feels like there is nothing you can physically do right away - what we most appreciate are your prayers, your positive thoughts, and your love, and I am so happy to know that we have those from so many wonderful people.